Even the best of humans sometimes need a little refresher training...
Greetings, fellow house rabbits.
Are your humans getting lazy and taking you for granted? Frequently running behind schedule? Do they mess with your stuff?? You are not alone! Even the most well-trained humans sometimes forget their basic training and need a little refresher course. It's annoying but what you can you do - their brains are small and incapable of holding on to information, that's just the way it is.
We have spent many hours perfecting our approach to the litter tray, the speediest entrance and exit hop, the preferred pee corner and so on. We have consented to use the tray and do so responsibly and without fail. And then one day your humans wake up and decide to 'improve' it in some way, completely ignoring our feelings and forgetting our inherent dislike of change. Even the slightest change - a change in angle, or a different landing mat, can be very unsettling and is quite unnecessary. Happily, there is a very simple answer to this one which I think we all know, namely... pee on the floor, as much as possible and as many times as it takes to get your litter tray put back the way it was. Simple.
Intrusions into the den
The den is our inner sanctum, a sacred place for our most favourite activity - snoozing. Quite honestly, we don't like you even looking at us while we're in there, let alone actually coming in. Yes, yes we look very cute but dare to put a hand in and you're going to get a serious nose nudging. However, we will tolerate an intrusion on very rare occasions... i.e. when our blankets have started walking around on their own.
We've dug and bulldozed our blankets into the perfect position and we've rolled on them until they smell all nice and rabbity. They have a lovely layer of soft cosy rabbit fur on them. All of this takes time (time which could be better spent snoozing) and therefore the sudden removal of said blankets and their eventual return, smelling like washing powder and without a single rabbit hair on them, is a traumatic experience for us.
Be sensitive to our pain and ensure a quick turnaround - anything over 2 hours is really not acceptable and may cause long-term damage to our relationship. Just saying.
Maintaining the Rabbit Zone
Of course, we own the whole house but there is a certain area which belongs to us i.e. where we chill out, lounge around, socialise and, of course, EAT. The rules of the Rabbit Zone are quite simple - if you enter the zone you are fair game and payment must be made. Don't think you can just walk past and pretend you haven't seen us and definitely don't make us resort to tripping you up to get your attention. Even if it is just a token gesture, such as a quick nose rub, appearances must be maintained - it is a simple matter of showing respect. Needless to say, we would always prefer food... but we think you know that already.
And while we're on our (favourite) subject of food, kindly remember that when we are 'bossy' and nip you off the sofa and into the kitchen, it's because you're running behind schedule. Own up to your failures and quit complaining.
So, whip that backsliding human into shape and remind them who's boss. Good luck, fellow house rabbits and always remember - it's a bunny world, the humans just live in it!